What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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