I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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