Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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