well most of my day revolves around power hour
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
