Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
