At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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