so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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