Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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