Christians are straight up FREAKS
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
