I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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