Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
