Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
