Please, let me fuck your mom
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
do herpes really smell.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
