she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
