Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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