worst night to have a conscience
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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