I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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