I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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