i was born a porn star she said
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize