He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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