quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
