giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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