she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
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We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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