I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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