none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
