saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
