The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
