next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
