I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
