I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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