dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
