Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
