you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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