went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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