Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
