Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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