So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
