If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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