you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
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the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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