Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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