wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
