Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
