sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
