I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
