...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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