spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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