How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
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yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
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I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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