They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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