talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
