Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Me too!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
