3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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