we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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