Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My dick has a subreddit
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
