No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
