I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
