please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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