Rock
Scissors
Fuck
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
