i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
