so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I don't think brook has ever known best
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
